I learned today that one of my mentors...probably my most cherished mentor...Roger Millen, passed over yesterday. I've known for over a year now that Roger was failing. He emailed me to let me know that I should probably take his name and listing off the NextStage site. We talked and I said not yet.
As it is with most things, he improved, he failed, he improved, he failed.
I last saw him this past spring. I won't go into details...some of you who know me very well won't be surprised by this, I think...but he asked to see me because he knew none of the physicians he'd seen could help him and, "I know that if anybody can help me, it's you."
There are two men in my life who I can say "found me". Both are now passed, one long passed. Roger was one of the people I sought out when I was studying the different fields that eventually became Evolution Technology. I started as his student and eventually he asked me to teach beside him. When I visited him in the late 1990s with this crazy idea, a published paper and working prototype he read the paper (it wasn't easy reading, believe me), played with the prototype for a minute then laughed, a deep, loud belly laugh.
"This is so obvious only you could have figured it out," he said, tears of laughter streaming down his face. When he caught his breath he said whatever I needed him to do to get this going, let him know. He became our first Senior Researcher and Trainer.
Our relationship wasn't one directional. I gave him what I could but mainly my love of kites, of being lifted by the wind. He understood my lineage with Wind better than most, I think, save Susan, my wife. Many times when Roger and I team taught, he would have me demonstrate the power of the Wind to lift body and soul.
So when Roger came and said, "I know that if anybody can help me, it's you," I did what he and others had trained me to do and I shared what he had to do.
And I knew he wouldn't do it. It takes amazing power and willingness to change one's nature and the power derives from the willingness. It's never the other way around.
And for all he gave me, for all he taught me, for the pieces of him that I choose to carry forward with me, I will miss him.
I love you, Roger. Pleasant Journeys and Safe Harbors. I give you The Wind.
Joseph,
It has been a while since I've checked-in - too long, I now recognize.
I am so so sorry for your loss. You've told me before that the way a person views themself can be illustrated with a target pattern, with 'personality' (how we present ourselves to others/ how we understand them to view us) in the outer ring, then 'identity' (how we view ourselves), and 'core' (who we are) at the center. Everything on the target is difficult to change because the change requires a realignment of self. The change gets harder as you move toward the center as the realignment of the core impacts the outer rings.
These people that we allow to get so close to us, they become a part of us, a part of our core. And when they leave us, when they die, a piece of our core dies with them - just as we take a piece of them with us. The change can be quite traumatic
I am deeply sorry for the trauma you are suffering. But I also congratulate you for having the courage to allow this friend to become a part of you. Having such a meaningful relationship with another human being is one of the ultimate treasures of life. And I am certain that Roger was equally rewarded.
Todd
Posted by: Todd Sullivan | July 24, 2009 8:50 AM | Permalink to Comment