This is part 3 in a conversation arc. I'm responding to WindKiller, one of my regular correspondents and readers, who wrote me about my Drunken Pirates, Anyone? or "Interlife Realities 101" post. He's agreed to let me respond in my blog, hence this arc.
WindKiller called me to task for not responding to the Ms. Snyder's act in part 1, I think. Part 2 dealt with concern over people's impressions of what you do, think or say.
As I did with my Conversations with the Past arc, WindKiller's comments will be in regular type, my responses will be in italics.
WindKiller continues:And I love the freedom of speech angle. No one is restricting her right to publish her pictures, captions, statements, etc. But they will judge her based on her comments and that ability to judge has never been in conflict with the freedom of speech.
Two points:
- I disagree with "No one is restricting her right..." Someone has decided to punish her for her actions, therefore they are restricting her rights. The authority figure is saying "I won't tell you not to do some thing and if you do that thing I will penalize you." This is similar to the parent telling the child "It's your decision" then punishing the child for making a decision the parent doesn't like. This is called "crazy-making behavior" among therapists.
Along these lines, I did read the school district's statement (thanks for the link). The word "advised" is used as in "...after being repeatedly advised...", "expressed" as in "...expressed to Ms. Snyder..." and things like that concern me. What I'd like to see is something like "We told her not to ..." or "Ms. Snyder was told not to...". The bullet points in the statement indicate that Ms. Snyder wasn't as responsible a person as the environment she found herself in would dictate, so something stronger than advising and expressing would seem necessary.
And yes, that was a careful choice of words, "...the environment she found herself in...". It's right up there with another one of NextStage's Principles: If you can't clearly say "No" then nobody will know when you're saying "Yes". Ms. Snyder (this is how I'm reading the material presented) wasn't capable of understanding the more sophisticated communicatives "advised" and "expressed" so make it real simple and plain old "tell" her. - "...they will judge her..." I guess I spent too many years studying the Old Testament not to get concerned when someone "judges" someone else. I know it happens and wish it would happen less and less. "Judging" (in the sense that I think you write it) comes down to a question or "rightness" and "wrongness", which are questions of morality. I'm not qualified to determine someone else's morality, only whether or not I wish to be around their morality. I've often stated "Morals are how you want me to behave, ethics are how I want me to behave."
(more to follow...)
I'll be speaking at the Society for New Communications Research Annual Awards Gala Summit on 5-6 Dec 07 in Boston. Come on by and say hello.
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